Thank God for Book Burnings! Bring Marshmallows.

Oh, North Carolina, how you save me from writer's block.

Well, it's back, folks! That's right, a good old fashioned book-burning. Can't you just smell it? Come on down! Bring your Harry Potter (because it includes satanic magic) and your Golden Compass (because it's anti-Christ). Go out and find a copy of The Origin of Species, since I know good Christians like you wouldn't own a copy (after all, it contradicts the Bible and forwards scientific thinking). Bring your Qur'an and your Bhagavad Gita and, last but certainly not least, all of your Bibles that aren't the King James Version!

The Amazing Grace Baptist Church in North Carolina is making me all warm and tingly inside with the feeling of nostalgia.

Okay, sarcasm over.

This is really happening. These deluded people are actually going to burn books to celebrate Halloween.

Not only are they going the classic route with burning fantasy books and books by atheist authors and The Origin of Species, which is an absolute must to bring to your next church-sanctioned book-burning, but they are burning Bibles.

This church is burning all Bibles that aren't the King James Bible, which, naturally, is the only true word of God.

I wonder if these people know the story behind the King James Bible. In 1603, King James VI, son of Mary, Queen of Scots, came to power. He was viewed to be very liberal, as he strongly disliked the Geneva Bible's use of the word 'tyrant' as a synonym for 'king'.

The Puritans literally met him halfway on his trip to take the throne so that they could ask him to make some changes, including having no rings exchanged at weddings and no kneeling before Christ. After meeting with a Puritan and Protestant representative, the King James Version was born, basically because James was tired of hearing people complain.

From the KJB comes some of the most famous phrases, like “Eye for an eye”, “Ye of little faith”, and “Wolf in sheep's clothing”.

There is nothing better about this version of the Bible, trust me. I have marked up copies of the KJB and a cheap version I was handed by a Gideon on Yom Kippur (Oh, the irony). Both have the same faults. Both of beautiful lines. Both fail in many ways.

But think about it! These followers of Christ are burning books that attempt to turn people to his (intentionally not capitalized) path. With the amount of internal wars these people fight, its no wonder they can't land a punch in the battle with atheists.

I'm sure this is exactly what their God wanted. He created us in his image, gave us the ability to create beauty, just so his followers would have well-decorated kindling.

A book-burning in America.

Ray Bradbury, cover your ears.

I just hope Hitler doesn't notice. He might let out a little cheer, where that bastard is buried.

Just to make it better, I hear that they are actually having a Barbecue afterwards. All I can hope is that they cook the chicken over the embers of free-speech, or at least bring some marshmallows.